maow maow maow

“

Kristen: check yo work times yet?

Me: what’s it to you PUNK

Kristen: ma pre-drinks

Me: ahah
sorry for upsetting you my dear

Kristen: that’s alright i don’t really like you anway

Me: cool
I’m going to puke on your mothers wedding dress and say it was you
and yes I’ll be at pre drinks
BWAHAHA

Kristen: i hope all your children are ugly and disfigured and require expensive dental treatments

Me: fortunately the dentist will be your secretly gay husband who ends up killing himself and leaves you with 5 autistic children
BAM

Kristen: that sounds a lot like your life right now
in fact, i heard you left st mary’s so as to start afresh where no-one spoke of these events

Me: I’ll have you know my children are all in the orphanage
your old home

”